July 4, 2003

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11

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'The best part is right now'

The Gay Man's Guide to Growing Older by John Lockhart

Alyson, $15.95, paperback Reviewed by Kaizaad Kotwal

One of the greatest fears that many humans struggle with is the process of getting older. In a culture based highly in the greater aggrandizement and constant renewal of consumer products, old things are rarely revered in this society. Getting old is seen as a burden, as a torturous journey not to be anticipated without a sense of dread.

These views are further exacerbated in the gay culture, particularly among gay men, where youthful image consciousness has become a deadly obsession and where the AIDS pandemic made getting old seem like a pipe dream for many living under the shadow of the disease.

THE GAY MAN'S

GUIDE

TO GROWING

OLDER

John Lockhart has written The Gay Man's Guide to Growing Older in an attempt to demystify some of the stereotypes and fears about getting old and also as an attempt to help people find the joys in celebrating that journey towards becoming older.

In their book Completely Queer: The Gay and Lesbian Encyclopedia, Steve Hogan and Lee Hudson write that, "Aging remains one

of the least discussed, least studied, and probably as a result, least celebrated aspects of gay and lesbian lives."

Lockhart's book is based on interviews with more than 40 gay men over the age of 65, the oldest being 91. Along with these men, Lockhart addresses such relevant issues as work, health care, relationships, sex, spirituality and death amongst many others.

There are issues that become more and more relevant as one ages and just as one's priorities change, it is also true that with getting older, the questions about life that matter begin to change as well.

Lockhart himself is a great role model for getting older with spirit and dignity. A former lobbyist at the federal and state levels, he ran his first marathon at 50 and has run in 32 others since. A competitor in the Gay Games since 1986, he has won gold medals in his age division in the marathon, half marathon and 10K runs. Lockhart knows first-hand that life doesn't end when one reaches a certain age, but that each age can be a promise of better things ahead.

The book, while not a scientific study, is valuable in that it tells the very real experiences of people who have had the privilege of getting older and getting to live a full life. Lockhart weaves these personal testimonies into an interesting read that is not only worth it to those already in their senior years, but also to those of us who hope to get there someday.

Richard Malloy, quoted in the book, sums it up best when he says, "I'm just on top of the world. I'm totally delighted; I'm having a great time. The best part of my life is right now, unless I look ahead—and I think that's going to be better." ✓

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